


stop being extra you hungover manchild

by SadComet



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), M/M, Mentions of McDonalds, Sickfic, also the seijous are There, discussions about blowjobs, emetophobia maybe? tobio keeps whining about how nauseous he is, hangovers, hungover kageyama being extra, lol, mentions of drinking, more or less :3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 04:04:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10823370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadComet/pseuds/SadComet
Summary: „Hinata… I know this must come as a shock to you but… You deserve to know the truth. It’s hard for me to say this but… I’m dying, Hinata. I’m in pain and I’m afraid that I’ll no longer be with you soon, so I just wanted to tell you that you mean the world to me and I love you so much.”“Kageyama? Are you calling because you have a cold again? I won’t fall for it this time, you hear? And if I do come over, which is VERY unlikely, you’ll have to blow me for the effort.”, Hinata replied calmly into the speaker while turning over the page of his sports magazine. It was the newest issue of Volleyball Monthly and he wouldn’t let his drama queen of a boyfriend ruin this for him.“NO, Hinata! You don’t get it, do you? I really AM dying this time. I drank, like, five gallons of beer yesterday. And a martini. Ever heard of alcohol poisoning?”, the voice on the other end of the line retorted with a very miserable, hungover voice.______In which Kageyama is a hungover drama queen and Hinata knows all the secrets to curing a hangover.And of course, everything's Oikawa's fault.





	stop being extra you hungover manchild

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is based on a true story i woke up drunk this morning lol don't @ me

„Hinata… I know this must come as a shock to you but… You deserve to know the truth. It’s hard for me to say this but… I’m dying, Hinata. I’m in pain and I’m afraid that I’ll no longer be with you soon, so I just wanted to tell you that you mean the world to me and I love you _so_ much.”

“Kageyama? Are you calling because you have a cold again? I won’t fall for it this time, you hear? And if I do come over, which is VERY unlikely, you’ll have to blow me for the effort.”, Hinata replied calmly into the speaker while turning over the page of his sports magazine. It was the newest issue of Volleyball Monthly and he wouldn’t let his drama queen of a boyfriend ruin this for him.

“NO, Hinata! You don’t get it, do you? I really AM dying this time. I drank, like, five gallons of beer yesterday. And a martini. Ever heard of alcohol poisoning?”, the voice on the other end of the line retorted with a very miserable, hungover voice.

“Oh, c’mon! Gimme a break!”, Hinata laughed. “You would be in much greater pain if you had alcohol poising. Someone would have probably already gotten you into a… hospital or something.”

“I _am_ in a hospital.”

“Oh my god, are you for real?”

Kageyama went silent until there was the sound of him, awkwardly shuffling on his sofa.

“Uhm, no. I lied.”

“GEEZ, KAGEYAMA!”

The black-haired man flinched at the sound of his boyfriend barking at him through the phone.

“Don’t be so loud, please. My head hurts.”

“OH, Boo-hoo. Cry me a river, manbaby. You can sit through your hangover all by yourself, I’ve got important literature to read.”

“Oh, did they release Volleyball Monthly earlier this time?”, Kageyama asked with as much excitement as his gruff voice could muster.

“YES, they did and I’m not coming over to discuss it with you because you almost gave me a heart attack, you dweeb.”

Hinata giggled at the whiny noises coming from other man.

“Shouyou, don’t be like that. I’m sorry okay? I just want you here. I feel horrible because I woke up drunk and stubbed my toe like 20 times on my way to the bathroom. This day can’t get any worse so… I’m… I guess... Ah dammit, please come here and nurse my ungrateful ass back to health and I’ll blow you at least a dozen times as soon as I can move my head without feeling nauseous.”

It was impossibly hard to stay mad at him.

It really was, because Hinata was head over heels for a 6-foot something man who was incapable of dealing with the smallest inconveniences, so he tried really hard to bite back a grin as he got off his bed and grabbed his sneakers.

“I’ll be there in a minute okay, so please don’t die on me? And drink lots of water. Oh, also: I’m getting you McDonalds, whether you want it or not, so don’t go all sports-diet-psycho on me when I arrive, okay? It’s the best way to cure a hangover.”

“I love you and I don’t deserve you.”

“Yes, you don’t. Oh, and please take a shower or something, I’m not coming in if you smell like an Irish pub.”

“I could trip and die because I’m dizzy.”

“Then I’ll spread the word that you died protecting our relationship. Bye bye.”

 

* * *

 

The setter winced when he heard knocks on the door and tried to shield his ears with a pillow in a miserable attempt to dampen the noises.

“Open the door or I’ll kick it in! The paramedics arrived!”

“I gave you the keys to my condo, stupid.”, he shouted through the pillow.

“Oops, haha! You’re right!”

The following chain of unpleasant noises, including the clumsy rattling of keys and the short man tripping once again over the well-known step that led into the living room, made Kageyama’s head pound and he briefly considered if it had been a wise decision to call over the dumbest person he knew that just happened to be his boyfriend.

“Oh, there you are!”, the redhead chimed happily when he spotted him lying all sprawled out on his black sofa underneath in a thick layer of blankets.

“Wait, is that my Winnie-Pooh blankie?”

“Yes, and you can’t have it right now.”, the taller man mumbled grumpily and sank deeper into the sea of blankets. He really was a sight.

Hinata shuffled over to him, carrying two large McDonalds bags and looking way too amused for Kageyama’s liking. He placed them carefully on the carpet, before bending over to briefly kiss the tortured man on his forehead and let his hand run lovingly though silky but chaotic-looking black hair.

“You doing okay?”

“Not okay. But significantly better, all of a sudden.”

With great effort Kageyama even managed to wriggle his right arm free to pull the redhead closer, making him kneel uncomfortably on the floor, but he really didn’t seem to mind. He just rested his head contently on the other man’s strong chest.

“Hah, you’re not going anywhere now.”, Kageyama declared proudly, tightening his grip on Hinata’s shoulders.

The first noise he heard that day that didn’t want to make him go deaf was probably the sound of Hinata’s lighthearted laugh.

(Well, it still made his head ache but he loved his tiny boyfriend so it was okay.)

“Yeah, yeah. You got me. And I’m staying, so you can let go of me. Besides, I think I just kneed your Big Mac.”, the middle-blocker insisted while gently lifting the raven’s arm.

The intense smell of fast food began to flood the room as Hinata opened the first bag and poured all the contents right on top of Kageyama, who eyed them suspiciously.

“So, uhm… I didn’t really know what to get you, so I just bought three random burgers, large fries and a Sundae, so yeah. There are more fries in the other bag, ‘cause I’m probably gonna steal yours.”

“How many calories does this have again?”

Hinata moaned in annoyance.

“We talked about the sports-diet-psycho thing.”

“My body is a temple, you loser.”

“I’m not letting you read Men’s Health anymore, it messes with your head. Now, …”

Hinata pushed a neatly wrapped burger closer to his face.

“Eat.”

The redhead happily ignored his complaints as he made some room for Kageyama to sit up and inhale his food. Some fries were stolen now and then, but the younger man gave in and dutifully ate up his hangover meal. He found it hard to admit, but the fast food really helped and his stomach didn’t feel like it was trying to digest rat poison anymore.  
Kageyama looked up from his Sundae and found Hinata, staring at him with a dangerous curiosity in his big honey-brown eyes. He was chewing on his rosy bottom lip, which the setter found awfully distracting, but he quickly figured out what burning question he had on his mind.

“You wanna know how I got roaring drunk.”

He had never seen Hinata nod his head with such furious enthusiasm.

“Ugh…”, he grunted, as he placed his half-eaten Sundae on the floor. “This is kinda… really embarrassing to admit.”

“It’s okay, you’re embarrassing most of the time.

... BUT I STILL LOVE YOU!”, the smaller man quickly added as Kageyama raised his hand to give his head a violent squeeze. A habit he never really got rid of ever since high school. He didn’t even want to, either.

“Anyhow, …”, the setter continued, giving his boyfriend a warning look. “I might have told you that Oikawa called me that day, rambling on about how I should drag my ass to this weird-ass karaoke bar we went to last month. You remember?”

“The one with that crazy bartender who looks like Gandalf from Lord of the Rings?”

“Exactly. That one. So naturally, I went ahead and told him to fuck off but he started pestering me about how I never spend any time with the former Seijous anymore, and how I’m hurting his feelings as my self-declared ‘third parent’. Blah, blah, blah. Long story short: He dragged me to the bar and… well, we weren’t really all that sober to begin with, but he and Matsukawa started teasing me when I told them that I didn’t wanna drink a lot, so I did the single most logical and reasonable thing – I handed them their asses in a drinking contest. I fucking won, dammit! Hanamaki and Iwaizumi tried to interfere, but they couldn’t stop me. I was on a roll that night, Hinata. I think I have a gift. Also, they both owe me 2000 Yen now, which is pretty neat I guess.”

“I can’t believe that my health-obsessed boyfriend got into a drinking contest! WITHOUT ME. But I hope this doesn’t turn into a habit. I mean, look at you! You look horrible.” Hinata gestured to the hungover man and received a very offended look. “I mean, you’re still handsome! Also you have beautiful blue eyes.”

 Kageyama nodded in approval. As much as his headache would allow it, at least.

“But aside from that you pretty much look you came back from war or something.”

“I kind of did, though. I mean, Oikawa is, like, my biggest rival. I didn’t have much of a choice.”

Hinata gasped. “I thought _I_ was your biggest rival!”

“I don’t think rivals fall in love with each other.”

“They do! Like, all the time! Gosh, haven’t you ever watched a movie?”

Hinata wouldn’t stop sulking, even when the taller man started mussing his hair gently while promising that he would never stop racing him to the library. Or the coffee shop. Or anything ever, really. He didn’t really mean to hurt his competitive feelings, so he wrapped his arms around Hinata’s thin waist and dragged the pouting man on top of him.

“I wasn’t joking when I said that you’re not going anywhere. I’m gonna force you to nap with me, whether you quit being a big pouty baby or not. You visiting me is the nicest thing that happened all day and I’m not ready yet to go back to feeling shitty again.”

The dead serious declaration didn’t fail to make Hinata grin giddily like the stupid love-drunken idiot he was. His setter needed him so bad and didn’t even want to hold onto false pretenses anymore. He couldn’t. It was clear as daylight.

 “You’re the bigger baby. And of course I’m staying, dummy.”

“Good.”

“And by the way… the, uhm…”, Hinata started playing coyly with the hem of Kageyama’s shirt. “The blowjob still isn’t off the table?”

“It definitely isn’t.”, the other man murmured in a low voice. “And I’ll come back at you when I don’t have to fight the urge the throw up anymore.”

“I’ll wait.”, Hinata hummed and gave a quick peck on his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> i normally don't write fics but if you wanna send me anon hate, hit me up on tumblr: goodnight-butsu.tumblr.com  
> i also have a twitter (@GLOW_CLOUDS) follow for low quality kagehina headcanons and constant bitching


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